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Seriously. This exists.

RUDE. Or: Fuck you, Media.

Today's post is a disapproving finger-waggle to Toronto Media. Seriously Miss Manners, where are you?? I know if you could see this you'd cut a bitch.

My twatter feed is lit up with livebloggers going on about Sgt Ryan Russell's funeral. His death in the line of duty makes me ill. I'm not that good about death to begin with and the idea of it being someone's job to die because there are lunatics about just makes me sad.

Having died in service to his city, it's definitely sensible that the city provides a funeral service large enough for the citizens to pay their respects despite never knowing him in life. What grosses me out though, is the media presence. A funeral is supposed to be a solemn and respectful time for people to say goodbye to a loved one. To have "journalists" tweeting every last detail as it happens or videotaping it for the 6 o'clock news is so fucking tacky that I wish I could raise Miss Manners to punch them all in the face. Get off your cell phones or get out - it's a funeral. By all means right a human interest piece on it after the fact. Totally appropriate. Nobody who isn't there needs to know the exact moment a body was lowered into the ground, or at which time there were bagpipers piping.

So here's to all the "journalists" who thought it would be appropriate to peck away at their PDA's or stand behind a camera yapping into a mic instead of showing honest respect for someone who died protecting their city. Sensationalizing a funeral is disgusting and makes you an attention whoring hack, not a respectable journalist. Would you want a bunch of people videotaping you if he was your brother? Your son? Your husband? Or would you rather be left to mourn in private with the comfort of your family and friends?

Ew. Just... ew.

This one is nsfw. Be shocked if you must.

So my friend is sifting through his Grindr removing the unfortunate looking fellas to improve his experience when he stumbles across THIS PIC. (Ps: It's Toronto Mayor Rob Ford).

For those of you out there who don't know what Grindr is, it's an iphone app. Think lavalife, but at once more sophisticated and more caveman like. You scroll through random dudes arranged by GPS location til one strikes your fancy (aka tightens your manties) and you hit him up for a meaningful overnight fellationship. Perfect for those lazy caveman homos who don't want to have to drag someone far after they've clubbed him over the head.

First, EW. Second.. I thought politicians were supposed to arrange tranny hookers on poorly lit side streets. I pray to baby jebus and Sarah Jessica Parker that this isn't true... and if it is, all I offer is "GO BACK TO CRAIGSLIST AND LEAVE THE SHINY IPHONES ALONE."
Third, Ewwww. A lot. More than a lot.

I'm going with the assumption that this is a cruel cruel joke. Well played, whoever you are. Your actions have caused my likely irreversible running to the dark side. Go easy on me ladies, I'm new at this.